


Mr. Mom

by Stratagem



Category: Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers Family, F/M, Gen, Mini-Asgardians, Stephen Strange helps out, Thor Family, Thor with Kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-08
Updated: 2016-11-10
Packaged: 2018-08-29 21:26:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8505994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stratagem/pseuds/Stratagem
Summary: Thor is left alone with his three kids when Jane leaves for a four-day conference in Egypt. Hopefully the house will still be standing when she returns, and the children won't attempt a rebellion after too many breakfast-for-dinners.





	1. The Departure

**Author's Note:**

> Previously posted on AO3 at an earlier time, but I deleted it when I took a break. I'm posting it now that I'm back. Thank you for understanding, and I hope you like the Odinson-Foster kiddos.

In the earthly home of Thor, there were quite a few wonderful and awe-worthy things. There were paintings from Alfheim, holographic star maps from S.H.I.E.L.D., weapons from Asgard, and other various treasures gathered from the far reaches of the universe. There was a loving, strong relationship between an otherworldly being who controlled thunder and lightning with a hammer forged of unknown metals and a human woman with a kind heart who could whip up some awesome chocolate chip pancakes and liked to drill astrophysical theories into her very young kids. There were also three children who displayed fantastic feats of strength, agility and stamina on a daily basis.

But for the moment, a single anguished howl of legendary proportions was the most gripping thing in the entire household. It was a cry of deep despair and confusion, one meant to rend the heart and inspire sympathy and immense pity.

Too bad it wasn't working.

"Tanner, shut up!" shouted Ben, his hands made into fists at his side. If his blue eyes could've shot lightning, he would've shocked his annoying little brother. The whole family was gathered in the foyer of their two-story adobe home in New Mexico, saying goodbye to Mom, and Tanner was throwing an impressive but irritating fit.

At eight-years-old, Ben considered himself to be far above such ridiculous displays. So what if their mom was going away for a couple days? It wasn't like she was leaving them forever…she wouldn't do that. He shoved his hands back through his thick, short blond hair, making it stand on end. "You're a big bratty baby."

The wail continued, only getting louder, and Jane frowned at her eldest. "Ben, you're not helping. And don't say that to your brother."

"Does that mean I can say it to other people?" he asked. A hand came up and caught him gently against the side of his head. However, there was enough force there for him to know that the answer was no. He glanced up to see his father towering over him, one arm holding Ben's four-year-old sister Kat who had her hands to her ears. She was definitely pouting. In his other hand was Mom's big suitcase.

Her science stuff had already been sent to, where was it again? Oh, yeah, Cairo. In Egypt. With all the cool Egyptian stuff that he wasn't going to be able to see because Mom didn't want to take him out of school and Kat out of preschool. So unfair.

"Tanner, come on, it's not like I'm leaving forever, sweetheart," Jane said. She reached down and attempted to disentangle her two-year-old son from her right leg. "I'll be back before you even realize I'm gone, if you'd just let go..."

"NOOO!" Tanner shouted, at least making an actual word this time. Granted, that was his favorite word. His brown eyes were wide, and the veins in his neck were sticking out. Wild blond hair hung in curls around his contorted, desperate face. His grip was remarkably strong thanks to all those Asgardian genes, and he seemed to be attempting to cut off her circulation. Maybe his warrior instincts were kicking in early, and he thought he could incapacitate her and keep her at home by ruining her leg.

Jane tried a new tactic. "Please, Tanner? I promise I'll come home, I really will, you'll see."

"NOOO!"

"Let go, Tanner!" Jane demanded, now tugging at his arms. They were stuck on like a bear trap, and he had gone back to yelling random sounds.

"Shall I take him?" Thor asked as he set the suitcase and Kat next to where Ben was standing by the front door. He brushed his hand down Kat's brown-gold hair and tugged affectionately on her French braid, which made her reach up and grab for his hand. He squeezed her little hand as Jane fought with the tiny immovable object latched onto her leg.

"No, I've got it," Jane said with a grunt.

He watched her struggle with the toddler. He tried not to smile, but the clash of determined mother and stubborn child was amusing. Tanner's wails turned into shrieks as he buried his face into her ankle.

Thor loved each of his children, but Tanner was currently grating on everyone's already frayed nerves. The house had been in something of an understated uproar since Jane had expressed her wishes to go to this…conference.

He had gained a healthy dislike for conferences since then.

Thor did not like it when Jane was far from his side for very long, and these next four days would be quite a long time, the longest they had been apart in a few years, in fact. However, Jane wished to go, and the children needed someone to stay home and care for them. His efforts to get Jane to allow them to take time out of school had failed, and he had received a lengthy explanation as to why an education, even at so young an age, was an extremely, extremely important thing, and that it should not be interrupted without good reason. And no, this was not a good reason.

Kat pressed her hands tighter over her ears. She hated loud noises, and Tanner was a basically just a yell on two legs in her opinion. Not to mention she didn't want Mommy to go. She didn't understand why she had to leave. There was lots for her to do here. Mommy shouldn't go. It wasn't right. But she wasn't going to throw a fit like Tanner. She knew it wouldn't work. It never worked with Daddy.

After letting the grand battle go on for a few more moments, Thor stepped closer to his wife. He knelt down and carefully grabbed Tanner by the waistline of his blue jeans. He lifted the boy a little ways off the floor and gave him a shake, but he still clung to his mother's leg. Tanner glanced and saw his father's stern face, which quieted him instantly, but he refused to let go of Jane's leg.

"Your mother needs that leg," Thor said, covering up a laugh with forced seriousness, "You will release it to her now."

Tanner wailed one last time, a big tear trailing over his chubby cheek, and let go of his mom's leg. Thor lowered him back to the ground, and Tanner just laid there. Spread eagle and limp, shaking with sobs smothered by the floor, Tanner laid like some kind of fallen hero awaiting the coming of the Valkyries.

Ben threw his hands into the air while Kat kept her ears covered, expecting another round of screaming at any time.

"He is a brat!" Ben exclaimed, pointing to his brother, "That's what a brat does. Look at him."

"Ben!"

"Mom!"

Thor straightened up and looked down at his youngest, eyebrows knitted together in concern. Kat walked over, still holding her ears, and nudged her brother with her bare foot. Tanner seized up, made a goatish noise and deflated again.

"Mommy, Daddy broke Tanner again," she said quietly, her face solemn, hazel eyes glancing from one parent to the other.

"I did not break him, Kat, he's far too hardy," Thor told her. He looked at his wife. "And he is far too old to be doing this still."

"Oh, he's fine," Jane said with a smirk, "He's a two-year-old with your flair for the dramatic. This is expected." She bent down and picked Tanner up, rolling her eyes as he continued to act as if he had no bones. Grinning, she planted her face into his stomach and blew, giving him a raspberry. Immediately he erupted into giggles, arms and legs coming to life. "There's the Tasmanian Devil."

"I am not dramatic," Thor said. He frowned when Ben and Jane shared a look, and Ben started laughing. "I am not!"

"Dad, you totally freaked when we ran out of coffee last Monday," Ben said. He raised a fist into the air and shook it, a near perfect mimic of his father. "Jane! Coffee! It is gone!" Now he waved his arms back and forth, making Jane bite down on a laugh while Thor's brow furrowed. "Fiends from Hel hath stolen it! Mjolnir! To arms! Summon the Warriors Three!"

Thor let out a mock-roar and swooped down on the eight-year-old, grabbing him up and crushing him to his chest. "And who are you to mock me?" he teased, tightening his grip. "Coffee is important."

Ben kicked back against him but there was no intent to harm. "Daaaaad." With a bit of twisting, he slipped out of Thor's arms and tackled his father's side.

While the two of them wrestled, Kat walked over to her mom and tugged on her sleeve. "Mommy, when does your plane fly?"

Jane balanced Tanner on her hip and glanced down at her wristwatch. She made a face. "Ooo, really soon, baby."

Thor grimaced and paused, Ben tucked firmly under one arm. "Must you go?"

"Yep," she said, setting Tanner down. He started for her leg again with hopeful gusto, but Thor snatched him up and put him under his other arm.

Jane looked at her child-bedecked husband and smiled, more than a little worried. Thor was quite capable of saving at least nine realms, and he absolutely adored his kids, but…he had never stayed with the children for four days alone. She was somewhat nervous about it but luckily her babies were half-indestructible. That made it much easier to leave. Still, she would desperately miss her kids and husband, but she had to do this. This conference was important for the future of astrophysicists everywhere, and she knew Thor could handle it.

Okay. So she hoped instead of knew. Big deal.

She quickly kissed the kids, pausing for a moment to give each one her full attention and a few specific instructions. "Behave and don't eat too many cookies. Especially not the raw kind! Don't bring home any stray animals. Don't feed your homework to the goat. Help your father with the chores." After she hugged and kissed quiet little Kat, Jane was pulled into Thor's arms.

His breath moved her hair gently as he rested his cheek against the top of her head. "You will never realize how much I miss you when you are not with me," he said softly, his voice warm and smooth, like hot chocolate.

"I bet I can," Jane replied, tilting her face up to kiss his chin, "Because I miss you more."

"Please stop," Ben said. He stared at them with a disgusted face. "That's gross."

"Then close your eyes. It shall become worse," Thor stated before he bent down and kissed Jane, first gently and then more vigorously, his hands drifting up into her hair as his lips explored hers. Sweetness and fire wrapped in beauty, she was his and his alone. When the kiss ended with Jane taking a breath, he smiled and rested his forehead against hers. "You're mistaken. I will truly miss you more."

Jane laughed and pressed her face against his chest as she hugged him. "You're impossible. And so competitive. Can't I win this one? Just once."

"Definitely not."

"My eyes are burning," Ben declared, rubbing at his eyelids, "It hurts!"

Beside him, Kat was just smiling while trying to keep a grip on Tanner. The toddler was struggling hard to escape his sister's grasp, and it wouldn't be long before he escaped from her. He had always been super strong.

"Mommy, me wan' go!" he declared, thrusting a chunky fist at himself. "Tan go wif Mommy."

"Not this time," Jane said, softening a bit as his bottom lip jutted out. "Sorry, kiddo."

Thor looked over at the kids, his arms still around his petite wife. This was going to be a very long four days.

Jane turned in his arms and glanced over her three perfect/nearly perfect children. Smiling, she gestured toward them. "Get over here."

A second later they were wrapped around her and Thor and squashed between them and in their arms. For a moment, she intensely regretted her decision to not bring the whole family along. Then a horn honked insistently.

The hug immediately broke, and she was hurrying out the door, calling out last minute bullet points and rules and affirmations of love as she went, Kat holding one of her hands and bringing her pocket book. Thor followed with her suitcase and a sniffling Tanner, and Ben brought up the rear, trudging along. The last round of goodbyes was swift and quick since Jane's ride was in a hurry.

"And if you really need help, Pepper's number is in your cell phone, remember that," she said while Thor placed her suitcase into the back of the grey, beat-up pick-up truck. "And your phone is in the kitchen, on top of the bread box."

Thor smiled and took her hand in his. "I don't believe it will be so difficult."

"I'll be back on Thursday, all right?" she said, "And you can always call me, and I'll answer, and don't cook anything on the oven's back left burner, it's broken, and—"

He cut her off with a kiss before laughing, his forehead touching hers again. "Jane. I can do this. I swear to you, I will not allow any harm to come to our children or this house." His blue eyes danced with amusement and memories. "Deal?"

Jane grinned and kissed him quickly, gently nipping at his lip. "Deal."

"Quit kissing already," Ben whined, "It's embarrassing…"

"Only because you asked so nicely," Jane said, rolling her eyes at her eldest. Kat stepped forward and handed Jane her pocketbook.

"Thank you, baby," she said, smoothing the girl's hair before she climbed into the truck, "Love you guys! Be good!"

Thor closed the truck door and lifted Tanner for her to kiss once again. He then gave her one last, long kiss through the open window. "I love you, Jane. Be careful," he said, his hand covering hers, "I will keep them safe."

"And fed, hopefully," she teased before smiling at him, "You'll be fine."

"I shall," he said as he stepped away from the car, a half-pained expression on his face.

"And Thor?"

"Yes?"

"I love you, too."

That impossibly charming, infectious grin spread across his face. "Good."

As their mother rode off to freedom and adventure, leaving their dad to stand in the yard and forlornly watch the truck recede into the distance, Ben looked at Kat. "We're gonna starve."

Kat smiled to herself. Mommy had left the pizza place number on the fridge and told her about it. They wouldn't starve.

Again, the myth-worthy wail began, softly at first and quickly raising to a scream that threatened to shake the foundations of the house.

Yes, Thor thought to himself, this was going to be a very, very long four days.


	2. Aftermath

There was a new addition on the house. It was impossible to not notice it as Jane's ride pulled up to her home; it was attached to the back, a whole new section added on to their two-story. Well. She would've preferred if she and Thor had talked about it together before doing a major construction project on their house, but seeing how he had managed it in only four days while still looking after the kids, she wasn't going to complain.

Obviously, there was probably some superhuman or magical explanation for the room going up so quick, but the house was in one piece. That's what mattered. A few years ago, she probably would've panicked, but being married to an Asgardian who also happened to be an Avenger tended to give you a sense of understanding about these kinds of things.

Or maybe she was just desensitized by this point.

Jane was ready to see her family again. Those four days in Egypt had felt like four months, and now that she had something she needed to tell them, she couldn't get there fast enough.

The taxi was just coming to a stop when the front door of the house flew out, the hinges ripping from the frame. One scraped the sidewalk and the other pinged off a streetlamp.

"Mama!" Tanner shrieked, little legs pumping as he toddled down the steps and toward the car.

The taxi driver turned back to her, his eyes wide. "Might want to get that door checked…"

"It's on the list," she said. She paid him quickly and hopped out of the taxi before Tanner could reach it. His unnatural strength was really getting to be a problem… Swooping him up into her arms, she covered her two-year-old in kisses, laughing as he buried his face in the crook of her neck.

"Mommy!"

"Mom!"

Jane looked up to see Kat and Ben racing toward her, both of them smiling and looking perfectly fine. Except. Wait.

"Kat, what happened to your hair?" Jane asked as she sat down Tanner and opened her arms for her daughter and eldest son. Kat's hair had been a bronze color when she left, a mix of brown and blond, but now it was a startling white blond. She knelt down and tilted Kat's chin up then gasped. "And your eyes!" Hazel eyes were now impossibly green.

"I got magic!" Kat answered with a brilliant smile.

" _What_?" And she thought that her news was going to be the big shock…

Ben patted her arm before he gave her a hug, not seeming to mind too much that she couldn't stop staring at Kat. "It's okay, Mom, Dad fixed it. Sort of. She's mostly okay."

" _Mostly_?"

"I can explain that." In the doorway of their home, Thor looked somewhat chagrined, but the powerful effect of a big muscular Norseman taking up the entire space of the door was a little diminished by his hair, which was pulled up into askew pigtails. He walked toward them, stopping to lean down and give Jane a brief but satisfying kiss. "You have missed a few things. And _I_ missed you."

"I missed you, too, but an explanation would be nice," Jane said as she watched him nod to the bewildered cabbie and take her bags from the man.

He didn't show an ounce of embarrassment, probably because he wasn't actually self-conscious about the pigtails. Kat had put them in, and they were messy, but she had wanted to practice. After the past few days of stress and chaos, it was nice to just do something simple and calming like letting his daughter style his hair. Now he just needed to face his wife.

"Mommyyyy." Tanner pulled on her fingers until she picked him up again, balancing him on her hip, but she reached out for Kat with her free hand. Whatever was going on, she wanted to know now.

"Uncle Steve was here, and Logan and Tony and Clint came too, and we went to Asgard, and Aunt Sif says hi," Ben said rapidly, uncharacteristically excited, "And we saw Doctor Strange and Mr. Richards!"

"You were busy," Jane said, glancing up at Thor.

Thor had all of her bags in one hand while his other rested on her back as they walked back to their house. "It was a complicated four days." Actually, day one had been pleasant, but the other three…

Jane glanced around, looking for any other changes to their home. Most of it looked intact, though the living room was a bit of a disaster. Still, it was only in the childish mess connotation of the word, what with toys and puzzles and games being strewn about the place and the TV left on to a video game. On the screen, a miniature version of Thor was paused while fighting Spiderman. Thor always played as himself while Ben often chose Peter or, when he was feeling mischievous, Clint.

Jane set Tanner down again and let Thor lead her over to the couch.

"Do you want anything to drink, love?" Thor asked as she sat down, giving her a small smile.

She shook her head and grabbed his arm, yanking him down to sit next to her. Or, well, he let her pull him down. The kids piled in around them, with Tanner settling next to her and Ben sitting on the arm of the couch beside Thor. Thor plucked Kat up and settled her down between them.

"So. What happened?" Jane asked as she reached out to stroke Kat's soft white-gold hair, unable to get used to it just yet.

Thor reached up and plucked the ponytail holders out of his own hair, stalling. "Well."

"Kat blew up the house." Ben gave an unapologetic grin as he took over from Thor, earning him a frown. "Her hair went all wavy and then her eyes glowed and then she blew out the back of the house. It was awesome."

Kat hunched her shoulders, becoming smaller. Black strands appeared in her hair. "I said sorry."

"It was not your fault, you did not understand what was happening," Thor said as he leaned forward and kissed the top of her head before looking over at Jane. "Kat seems to have an unexpected gift. How was your trip?"

"Oh no, not yet," Jane said, shaking her head. She pulled Tanner into her lap, wanting to hug something soft and squishy. "What does all of this mean? Tell me exactly what happened."

Thor leaned back and shared a look with Ben before he turned back toward Jane. "On the second day after you left, we learned that Kat has the gift for magic. It runs in my family, but I did not really think any of our children would have it."

"Probably because you're a Muggle, Mom," Ben said, nodding.

"Midgardian," Thor corrected.

Ben shrugged. "Same thing."

"So…" Jane rested her chin briefly on the top of Tanner's head as she hugged him. "Kat has magic powers now? Like…" The number one magic user in his family that she always thought of was Loki, and he hadn't exactly used magic responsibly.

"Like my mother," Thor replied, reaching out to pull Kat closer. Their four-year-old was being very quiet. He tucked her into his side, protective and gentle. "Normally the first signs are not as destructive, and we are still trying to figure out what caused that."

"Ben did," Kat said, sticking her tongue out at her brother. He pulled a face right back at her while Jane raised an eyebrow in question.

"He ate the last of her cereal," said Thor, "It was apparently very important cereal."

"Oh."

"It was both of ours," Ben said, coming to his own defense.

"That is not the real reason," Thor said. He nudged his son, earning him a playful punch in return. "And besides, the damage was repaired by our friends." Steven, Clint, Tony and the furious cigar-smoking hairball named Logan had built onto the house, creating a playroom where the wall had been destroyed. He was going to need to send them gifts later as a thank you, perhaps tankards of summer ale from Asgard's mountain region. "I have asked the healers in Asgard to look into the matter, as well as Stephen and Reed. They should have answers for us soon enough, and Stephen said he would help train her."

"Mr. Strange gave me a pretty bracelet," Kat said, holding up her arm to show off a wide silver bracelet studded with a few gems.

"It helps rein in her magic," Thor said. He reached over and took Jane's hand, understanding that this was a lot to process. "She can wear it until she is more comfortable with her powers."

"All right," Jane said slowly after a quiet minute. She leaned over and kissed Kat's cheek, hoping she was being reassuring. This was all a bit overwhelming. Standing up, she set Tanner down beside his sister. "I think I'll get that water now."

"I will get it," Thor said, getting up and following her into the kitchen.

When they were out of the kids' sight, she turned toward him, reaching for his hand. "Is she going to be all right? Why didn't you tell me about this magic thing! You should have called, Thor."

He pulled her told him, catching her in a hug. It was hard to stay mad when you were wrapped in a bear hug like that one. "She will be fine. I simply did not think it would magic appear in one of our children." He kissed her, soft and sweet, his hands on her waist. "And I purposefully neglected to call you because I did not wish to worry you needlessly."

"I think this is a needful worry," she said, but she ended up shaking her head, "Next time one of our kids development new powers, you really need to call me, okay?"

"All right," he said, "I shall certainly remember that." He smiled at her a little. "How was your trip?"

"Nice and relatively uneventful," she said as he let go of her to get her a glass of water, "Not nearly as exciting as the time you had."

"They are all in one piece and did not tear open any holes in the universe," he said as he handed her the glass, "I consider that a success."

Jane laughed wearily. "Thanks. I guess we'll chalk it up as a pass." She sipped at the water and then glanced up at him. "So, is there a chance one of our other kids could happen to have the magic gene, too?"

Thor shifted his weight and crossed his arms. "I don't believe so. Ben would have already shown if he had that gift, and Tanner does not seem like a magic user."

"What about if we had more kids?"

"I do not know, it would depend…" He trailed off, looking at her like she was a new creature altogether. "What do you mean, more kids? Is that hypothetical?"

Jane sipped the water again and set it on the table, taking her time before she shook her head. "No."

He stared, mouth open. "You're—"

"Pregnant. I took like four tests, so I'm pretty—"

Everything stopped as Thor swooped in on her, wrapping both arms around her, his kiss deep and hungry and excited.

"Oh, man, not another one!"

When they pulled apart to breathe, both adults looked over to see Ben slumped against the door frame, looking depressed. "Not again. Come on, guys, three's company, four is like a soccer team. Or an army."

"Then I guess we're starting a platoon," Jane said with a smirk.

Thor grinned and kissed her again while their son made disgusted noises in the background. Another baby. He could manage that. After the past four days, he was certain he could manage anything.

He just hoped that Jane did not have a "meltdown" when she found out that there was now a portal to Stephen Strange's sanctum in their coat closet.


End file.
